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Tag: Mallory Ortberg

Carnegie Hall and Nashville, They Don’t Mix

The Season One finale, “Blueprint for Murder,” stars Patrick O’Neal as an architect whose big upcoming project is placed in jeopardy due to a minor funding issue. What issue? Well, a Texas tycoon’s (Forrest Tucker) young second wife has agreed to devote a huge chunk of the galoot’s fortune to the project and he’ll have nothing of it. So, the architect’s only way to keep the development alive is to kill the tycoon by… uh… well… we never find out exactly. Which is weird, right? It’s just one of many off parts of a solidly okay episode that prevent it from possibly becoming one of the good ones. Peter Falk directs for the only time and he’s good! Really! There are just some odd things here and there that don’t quite gel. Mallory Ortberg (Dear Prudence) returns to the show to sort it all out and talk about how much we all loved the Texan’s ex-wife, Goldie.

Damn Viking Daggers

Episode Card_S01E09 (Holiday Ep)

Our holiday gift to you, dear listener, is this- a discussion of the Mrs. Columbo episode, “Caviar with Everything.” Gather family and friends around the mp3 player on the mantel with room-temperature egg nog and listen to New York Times bestselling author Mallory Ortberg (Texts From Jane Eyre, the-toast.net) join Jon and RJ to talk about this slice of (not-very-good) television history. Kate Mulgrew stars as Mrs. Columbo, in a spinoff in which Lt. Columbo never, ever appears, but his car and dog do. She’s a reporter who becomes embroiled in a wicked tale of spurned lovers, catering and food allergies. Also, Jon and RJ are visited by The Ghost of Christmas Future (Leonard Pierce). Truly, holiday fun for all.

If, after all of this, you want to see the episode in question- it’s on YouTube.

Murder is Bad, but Suicide is Sadder

Episode Card_S01E03 (Ep 3)

Mallory Ortberg (the-toast.net) joins Jon and RJ to discuss “Etude in Black,” which features John Cassavetes as an orchestra conductor who murders his mistress/concert pianist. It’s up to Columbo to unravel how and why the maestro staged the woman’s death as an apparent suicide. Also involved- his long-suffering wife, Blythe Danner; her very, very wealthy mother, Myrna Loy; a precocious neighbor kid; and a drunk, hothead trumpeter.

Also discussed (among other things):

– Mallory’s wonderful essay, The Case For Making Columbo America’s Doctor Who.

– That time Cassavetes, Falk and Ben Gazarra went on The Dick Cavett show in 1970 and were kind of drunk jerks.