The Blotter: Mischief, Various

As a public service, The City Desk periodically offers up selected items culled from local police reports.

12:08 am
Harding Park, Officers disperse a group of people loitering in the park after hours.

1:01 am
3400 block of Spring Street: A woman reports excessive noise in adjoining house. The responding officers could hear nothing.

2:17 am
300 block of Bay Street: City EMS reports a break in and vandalism to an ambulance parked at LeFleur’s Donuts while the paramedics were taking a lunch break.

2:42 am
3400 block of Spring Street: A woman reports excessive noise in adjoining house. The responding officers could hear nothing.

3:01 am
4700 block of McKinley Avenue: Officers respond to silent alarm at a Kwick Stop Market finding clerk unconscious behind counter.

3:12 am
3400 block of Spring Street: A woman reports excessive noise in adjoining house. The responding officers could hear nothing.

3:47 am
2700 block of Huron Street: Officers respond to a 911 call of a cow in the roadway.

4:37 am
3400 block of Spring Street: Officers respond to a complaint of excess noise. Beverly Fouineur, 86, arrested for wasting police time.

5:14 am
21000 block of State Road: Gerald Crass, 18, and a minor are charged with vandalism, second-degree robbery, and cruelty to animals after police find them on the property of Chicken Delicious Farm. Police say the accused stole eggs from a chicken coop, and then egged the coop.

7:14 am
Archibald Field: Homer Chamberlain, an agronomy student at Watson University, is charged with vandalism and destruction of university property. Police have been conducting a three-week sting operation on Chamberlain, who they say has been strategically spreading fertilizer around the 50-yard line at Archibald Field. Chamberlain was arrested before he could finish the alleged prank, but police say a view from the top of the stadium reveals that a fast-growing portion of turf reads “THE COUGARS SUC.”

10:26 am
1300 block of Cedar Street: Police respond to a peeping Tom complaint from adult webcam model “Cindy.” She tells officers she was in the middle of her morning shift in her “studio” when she noticed a figure standing outside her first-floor window. The perp ran from the scene when “Cindy” threw one of her stilettos at the window. An investigation is under way.

3:07 pm
Riverview Apartments: A man reports someone threw a full cup of cherry cola into the front seat of his 2003 Chrysler Sebring convertible.

5:26 pm
500 block of Fairview Avenue: Mildred Bailey, 57, is charged with vandalism. According to the police report, officers apprehend Bailey as she is spray-painting a comma onto graffiti that read “F*** you b***!” Bailey allegedly says she was painting an introductory comma after “you.”
– Craig Gaines, Hoyt Schermerhorn