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	<title>The City Desk &#187; Ray Ingraham</title>
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	<link>http://thecitydesk.net</link>
	<description>Fictional urbanism.</description>
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		<title>Friday Facts: The Honorable Harold Ramis, No Batmobiles</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/07/24/friday-facts-the-honorable-harold-ramis-no-batmobiles/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/07/24/friday-facts-the-honorable-harold-ramis-no-batmobiles/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Jul 2009 13:43:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Count Film-Ula]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friday facts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jonathan Morris]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[museums]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[violence]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=624</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[:: On this day in 1889, boxer John Lawrence Sullivan punched Mayor John Overholt&#8217;s wife directly in the face, knocking her out instantly. No reason was ever given for the assault, and neither the mayor nor Sullivan ever chose to speak of it again. :: A 1971 city ordinance prohibits the display of the Batmobile (from the famously campy 1960s Batman television show) at any promotional event within city limits. :: Chief City Health and Hygiene Inspector “Guy” Fenimore celebrates his 57th birthday this week, making him the oldest individual to ever hold that office and, in fact, the only sitting Chief Inspector to ever reach fifty-seven. :: Other birthdays this week include television meteorologist Howard Tidleiver (43), outspoken former city ombudsperson Claire Dolan (57) and former late-night television host Count Film-Ula (age estimated at either 93 or 97). :: In a local poll conducted earlier this week, sixteen percent of respondents admitted to participating in physical conflicts stemming from disagreements over the best local pizza restaurant. :: The Doig Museum of Natural Science was forced to cancel its upcoming exhibit &#8220;The Beauty Inside the Human Body,&#8221; which was to feature the plasticized remains of actual cadavers, posed artfully to [...]]]></description>
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		<title>The History of Barkay Bros. Funeral Home: Part II</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/07/13/the-history-of-barkay-bros-funeral-home-part-ii/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/07/13/the-history-of-barkay-bros-funeral-home-part-ii/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Jul 2009 13:28:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Count Film-Ula]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Micshcoon Lake]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=617</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Joel and Isaac Barkay, proprietors of Barkay Bros. Funeral Home on East Folkim St., announced recently that they had accepted an undisclosed sell their business. The local funeral home had been run by the Barkay family for 72 years. Joel and Isaac, lifelong bachelors aged 69 and 67 respectively, agreed to sit for an interview with The City Desk to tell the story of the rise and fall of Barkay Bros., and to reminisce over the most memorable moments on the job. Part one may be found here. Building upon the success of their late father, Joel and Isaac Barkay’s Barkay Bros. Funeral Home became the trendiest place in the city to have your corpse embalmed. Barkay Bros., over the last 47 years, has filled nearby posh Elmwood Memorial Cemetery to near capacity with a veritable Who’s Who among the city’s dead. “The most important quality an undertaker can possess, aside from a strong stomach, is discretion,” insisted Joel Barkay in a recent interview with The City Desk. “We’ve buried all sorts of famous people here. I could tell you who had tattoos, false teeth, false hair and false limbs. I could tell you who had plastic surgery or breast [...]]]></description>
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		<title>The History of Barkay Bros. Funeral Home: Part I</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/07/06/the-history-of-barkay-bros-funeral-home-part-i/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/07/06/the-history-of-barkay-bros-funeral-home-part-i/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:10:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[hoaxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=613</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Joel and Isaac Barkay, proprietors of Barkay Bros. Funeral Home on East Folkim St., announced last week that they had accepted an undisclosed offer from the giant mortuary services conglomerate ServLimited International to purchase their business. The local funeral home had been run by the Barkay family for 72 years. Joel and Isaac, lifelong bachelors aged 69 and 67 respectively, agreed to sit for an interview with The City Desk to tell the story of the rise and fall of Barkay Bros., and to reminisce over the most memorable moments on the job. “Dad was always able to make very shrewd decisions in his life,” began Joel. “He was working as an apprentice undertaker in Poland in 1932, and had the good sense to leave everything behind and move to America.” Benjamin Barkay found his way to the city in the summer of 1932, and rented a one bedroom apartment in the thriving Jewish community on 112th street. He spent his days working for a grocer and his evenings practicing his English and studying his preferred vocation. In 1937, Barkay finally saved enough money to open his own enterprise. He called it “Barker Funeral Home,” anglicizing his surname, fearing anti-Semitism [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Update: Gov Nixes Mayor&#8217;s Guantanamo Deal</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/02/26/update-gov-nixes-mayors-guantanamo-deal/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/02/26/update-gov-nixes-mayors-guantanamo-deal/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:21:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[budget]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prison]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=553</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Mayor Maribeth Cosgove&#8217;s offer to the Obama administration to accept Guantanamo detainees [Our City to Become the Next Guantanamo?, 2.23] has been rescinded by an angry state governor&#8217;s office. In a press release, Governor Allen (D) chastized Cosgrove for her rashness, and reminded her that the Ostahanoc River Maximum Security Prison is a federal, not a municipal, facility. &#8220;Mayor Cosgrove seriously overstepped her jurisdiction in her offer to accept Guantanamo Bay detainees,&#8221; said the governor&#8217;s press release. &#8220;We here at the state level apologize to President Obama for having wasted his time, and will see to it that nothing like this ever happens again.&#8221; Cosgrove (R) quickly issued a rebuttal to the governor&#8217;s letter. &#8220;It seems as if our governor has failed to show the fortitude needed by all Americans during these difficult times,&#8221; said Cosgrove via e-mail to local media outlets. &#8220;I am ashamed that our state leadership has failed us, in stubbornly blocking us from fulfilling our patriotic duty.&#8221; Despite Mayor Cosgrove&#8217;s rhetoric, a member of her staff (who asked not to be named) suggests that the mayor&#8217;s offer was made less out of a sense of duty, and more out of a sense of desperation. &#8220;This was [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>A look back: City Timeline 1600 &#8211; 1899</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/01/26/a-look-back-city-timeline-1600-1899/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2009/01/26/a-look-back-city-timeline-1600-1899/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:49:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=500</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By no means complete, this timeline serves to give a general overview of major events in the city&#8217;s history, from previously posted items here on The City Desk. Please note that contradictions to this list may crop up in the future, as history is a rather tricky thing, indeed. &#8211; Ed. 16?? -  Oldest known village ordinance enacted, making “dealing with goods of a gypsie nature” illegal. Punishment is “stabbing centrely amidst the fleshie organs.” [REF] 1780 – Origin of the Christmas tradition of the Three Hoboes. Each year, indigents dressed as Little Paul, Manuel the Turk, and John Portuguese wander the city decked in brown, green, and violet robes, begging candy treats and small amounts of money from holiday shoppers and Christmastime lookie-loos. [REF] 1781 – A copy of the recently penned Bill of Rights is posted on the tree that would become known as “Independence Elm.” [REF] 1829 – A land purchase marks the official transition from village to city. The original Bill of Sale (along with the original copies of the first City Charter) was lost in a Feb. 2008 fire at Old City Hall. [REF 1, 2] 1831 – First City Charter written. [REF] 1842 –  [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Profile: The Absent-Minded Philanthropist</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/12/09/profile-the-absent-minded-philanthropist/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/12/09/profile-the-absent-minded-philanthropist/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Dec 2008 14:30:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[charity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holidays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[profiles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=464</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“One of my foster mothers always said God gave me such a big heart to make up for my lack of common sense,” jokes Bill Mayweather. “If that’s true, I must have a heart the size of a city block.” Mayweather, 37, works in the housekeeping department at the Hyatt Regency Hotel on Shaffer Blvd. He resides alone, satisfied to live modestly in order to set money aside for a charitable cause every Christmas season. The City Desk recently interviewed Mayweather in his studio apartment about his penchant for charity. “I used to write checks to places like The Salvation Army or March of Dimes,” says Mayweather. “I knew those folks would use the money for good causes, but a few years back, I made up my mind to do something more personal.” So, in the winter of 2006, Mayweather spent all night long in his kitchenette, preparing treats for some of the city’s neediest: the stray dogs at the 87th St. animal shelter. Leslie Rhea, a volunteer at the shelter, recalled the afternoon Mayweather made his visit. “This great big guy comes in from the snow with a huge grin on his face. He’s carrying about a dozen wrapped [...]]]></description>
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		<title>City Residents Going Out of Town For Guns</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/11/17/city-residents-going-out-of-town-for-guns/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/11/17/city-residents-going-out-of-town-for-guns/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Nov 2008 12:55:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[crime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gun control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lakeview Falls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=437</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This recession has meant hard times and few customers for most local businesses, but 23 miles south of the city, in nearby Lakeview Falls, at least one retailer is doing well. Slaven&#8217;s Outdoor World has been filled to capacity with city residents looking to purchase firearms. In fact, according to owner Lou Slaven, sales are nearly triple what they were at this time last year. We conducted an anonymous and informal survey of nearly 200 city-dwelling Big Lou’s customers over the weekend of November 7, to try and discover what is behind the sudden gun-buying frenzy. Question 1: Why are you buying a firearm today? 37.6% &#8211; Afraid Washington Democrats will soon make buying guns illegal 32.2% &#8211; Home/self defense 18.0% &#8211; Forthcoming hunting season 10.2% &#8211; Expanding collection 1.2% &#8211; Going to shoot self/spouse/major political figure (probably joking) 0.6% &#8211; Going to shoot self/spouse/minor local TV personality (probably not joking) 0.2% &#8211; “Bitter, and need something to cling to” (sarcastically) Question 2: What sort of firearm did you purchase today? 40.0% &#8211; Semi-automatic handgun, expanded magazine 27.2% &#8211; Fully automatic firearm, expanded magazine 17.8% &#8211; Standard semi-automatic handgun 12.2% &#8211; Standard rifle/shotgun 2.4% &#8211; None, failed background check 0.4% [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Briefs: Laziness/Self-Plagiarism, Newspaper Endorsements</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/10/27/briefs-lazinessself-plagiarism-newspaper-endorsements/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/10/27/briefs-lazinessself-plagiarism-newspaper-endorsements/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:32:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[halloween]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mayoral race]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newspapers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RJ White]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=379</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Did Sunday’s editorial cartoon by Journal-Clarion artist Jeff Norwood look familiar? Longtime readers may have noticed that it was identical to the cartoons printed in the paper on the week of Halloween in 2004 and 2000. The cartoon features a trick-or-treater wearing a scary-looking hockey mask, standing on a porch holding a flashlight under his chin. He is attempting to frighten a nonplussed homeowner labeled with the word “VOTERS” on his backside. In the 3 times the cartoon has been used, only the name on the hockey mask and the word balloon over the trick-or-treater has been changed. 2008: Name on mask is “McCain.” Word balloon: “WooOOOoo…William Ayers…ACORN…Rev. Wright…Tax Increases on Small Businesses, my friends!” 2004: Name on mask is “W.” Word balloon: “WooOOOoo…Flip-flopper…Gay Marriages…Weak on Homeland Security!” 2000: Name on mask is “Bush II.” Word balloon: “WooOOOoo…Stem-cell research&#8230;A third term for Bill Clinton…Didn’t really invent the internet!” The City Desk contacted Norwood for a comment on his work. We asked if readers would be justified in assuming that he had cut some corners out of laziness, or was guilty of perpetuating a hackneyed cliché. “That assumption would be undermining the irony of my artistic vision,” said Norwood in a [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Case of Mistaken (New) Identity Leads to Mob Hit?</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/09/15/case-of-mistaken-new-identity-leads-to-mob-hit/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/09/15/case-of-mistaken-new-identity-leads-to-mob-hit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:29:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[crime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=324</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Joseph Green, head of the regional division of the FBI&#8217;s Witness Protection Program, held a press conference yesterday to publicly apologize to the friends and family of Anthony &#8220;Tony&#8221; Battaglia, who was found murdered in his Roxboro home late last week, in the city&#8217;s first major &#8220;old-fashioned&#8221; gangland slaying in nine years. Battaglia, formerly of New Jersey, was moved to our city for safety after testifying against a captain of the notorious Fortinero crime family. Agent Green and his colleagues placed Battaglia into an apartment on Klein Street, and provided him a new identity. Unfortunately for Battaglia, the identity given to him was that of another marked man. Police responded to a 911 call last Thursday and arrived at Battaglia&#8217;s domicile to find a gruesome tableau. Battaglia&#8217;s corpse lay spread-eagle upon a billiard table, with gold coins on his eyes, a deceased canary on his chest, his pinkies removed and shoved into his mouth and his feet spray-painted purple. In The Evening Press, accounts of the number of gunshot wounds Battaglia sustained ranged from &#8220;approximately twenty-four&#8221; to &#8220;too numerous to count.&#8221; A rookie cop who was a first responder at the scene spoke with The City Desk on condition of [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>The Blotter: Sloppy Blows, Newsstands Moved, Pets and Children Saved</title>
		<link>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/09/11/the-blotter-sloppy-blows-newsstands-moved-pets-and-children-saved/</link>
		<comments>http://thecitydesk.net/2008/09/11/the-blotter-sloppy-blows-newsstands-moved-pets-and-children-saved/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Sep 2008 15:21:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The City Desk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Hoyt Schermerhorn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Ingraham]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RJ White]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the blotter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thecitydesk.net/?p=319</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As a public service, The City Desk periodically offers up selected items culled from local police reports. (Note: More violent, standard items do not frequently show up here, as they are covered in the local papers with regularity.) 10:30 pm Corner of Merriman and 112th Streets: Two men, both wearing NFL jerseys, are arrested outside Stoats&#8217; Sports Bar. Apparently, an animated debate whether to go RB-RB-QB or RB-QB-WR in the first three rounds of a fantasy football draft took an ugly turn, and the men began trading &#8220;sloppy, drunken blows.&#8221; 2:15 am 7000 block of Blick Avenue: Three men apprehended in the back of pizzeria with several bottles of accelerants, ignition devices, envelope containing $5000 in cash. Investigation pending. 6:00-6:30 am Various locations, Downtown: Six vendors report that their newsstands were moved to different locations around the Downtown/Central Corridor area overnight, with substantial damage to each. Several witnesses reported a &#8220;tow-truck-like&#8221; vehicle dragging the structures through the streets. 11:20 am 1200 block of East Plumer Avenue: Officers respond to reports of a man exposing himself in the cereal aisle at the Safeway. 1:38 pm 800 block of Jarvis Street: Two men and a woman report their cars were apparently damaged [...]]]></description>
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