:: Number of City-Suburban Transit Authority (CSTA) buses whose digital signs read “CONGRADULATIONS GRATUATES” earlier this week: 658
:: Reason given for the spelling error, by a CSTA spokesperson: “Just having a little fun.”
:: Number of hours after this statement that the CSTA copped to it being a spelling error: 3
:: Number of consecutive weeks the Griswold Arthouse has featured Jaws as its “Friday Midnight Movie”: 1,664
:: Number of “Jaws Burger” fried fish sandwiches sold at the adjacent President Heights Cafe during in that time: 41,679
:: Percentage sold between the hours of 2 am and 5 am Saturday morning: 83
:: Number of stars awarded the President Heights cafe by irascible Alternative Weekly food critic Gram Sanders: one-half
:: To the “Jaws Burger” fried fish sandwich specifically: zero
:: Number of Little Rascals buried within city limits: 2
– Shek Baker, Jon Morris, RJ White